LESS THAN 60 (DAYS) TILL I'M 60!

Okay self, so here are your OWN WORDS from about 20 **TWENTY!!** months ago... "Why does it seem I'm always waiting until the last possible minute for everything? Is it that I work better under pressure? Is it that my life is crazy 24/7? Why can't I figure it out and stop making excuses? I know getting this done is for my own good. That's the sad part. If the doctor told me to take a pill I wouldn't have any trouble with that... I wear my seatbelt... I wash my hands after using the bathroom... why the heck can't I do this WEIGHT LOSS/EXERCISE thing for myself?"

So now I am within 60 days of turning the big 6-0... and I am still struggling to stay on this same crazy treadmill of life.  A lot has happened in the past 20 months... Chris & Jenn are now married and are expecting "Princess" Padgett to arrive on their 2nd anniversary, 6/7/15.  Mikey turned 3 in October and is more precious than ever and is conversing more and more every day.  

Fast Forward to 3/11/15 - SQUIRREL!  Wow, am I ever easily distracted (overwhelmed?)... I never even finished the above entry... 



WEDDING COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN!

Why does it seem I'm always waiting until the last possible minute for everything? Is it that I work better under pressure? Is it that my life is crazy 24/7? Why can't I figure it out and stop making excuses? I know getting this done is for my own good. That's the sad part. If the doctor told me to take a pill I wouldn't have any trouble with that... I wear my seatbelt... I wash my hands after using the bathroom... why the heck can't I do this WEIGHT LOSS/EXERCISE thing for myself?

Chris & Jenn's wedding is less than 60 days away... 6/7/13.  I DO NOT want to wake up that morning and regret NOT getting started a LOT SOONER!   I need to start TODAY!  NOW!  THIS MINUTE! 
 
A month or so ago Dennis introduced me to the podcasts of Fr. Larry Richards' weekly homilies. I downloaded (or uploaded?) every single one available (over 400) and began REALLY listening to them yesterday. So far there has been some pretty wise advice and the last two mornings I have set my alarm for earlier than I need to get up so that I can lay there and listen ~ and get inspiration for the days (and weeks) I know are coming.   I also looked up DASH diet videos on You-Tube to see what kind of advice I could get from people who have been there and done it.

We will be having our walk-through on Thursday evening and begin moving in to the house in Simi this weekend. Also our baby girl is turning 30 on Sunday. Where in the world did the time go? I remember when she was 7 or 8 she would see me LIVING on a diet -- never getting too far but always talking about it... and she'd ask me "Mommy, will you be skinny by my next birthday?" Oh how I hated to disappoint ANY of my kids! Over the years I have managed to come down from a high in the 270's to now under 210... how I would LOVE to be back to a healthy weight! Safely OUT of the "obese" range...

Please help me Lord! And even though you're in heaven now Daddy, I still want to make you proud of me! Thank you for all the help with caring for Mom. We feel the presence of YOU BOTH every day!

HERE I GO AGAIN!

Okay, so the first month of 2013 is in the books... I am a year older now, and I'm NOT any closer to my goal than I was a year ago... This is so VERY frustrating!  Why the heck can't I seem to get it together?  Yesterday was Superbowl Sunday -- a notoriously HORRIBLE day to start a fresh diet week!  I didn't track anything.  And I ate MORE than my share of points to be sure! 

This morning I was sitting at my desk, preparing for my work day to begin, when Josie from work called to tell me that Yolanda had resigned (over the weekend?).  Oh boy, NOT a good way to start a Monday morning!  So at 8:30 I logged in, completed a report, and then BAM -- no connection.  After trying everything and rebooting my computer several times, I got in touch with Leonard and spent at least an hour on the phone with him, who had me re-check everything, reboot a few time, restart my modem -- only to find out it was on UIC's end!  Whew!  Definitely NOT the way to start out the week!  But I thanked GOD it was NOT on my end!  Good thing it wasn't the 13th... that woulda been the triple wammy!

I have to make the conscious decision to NOT let things around me effect my emotions or what I am eating that day!  But then they don't call it COMFORT FOOD for nothing!  I have GOT to reboot MY PERSONAL internal computer... NOW! 

I am having a long and serious talk with myself right now about what is going to happen first thing in the morning tomorrow -- tracking - tracking - tracking... and I am NOT going to use any of the 49 flex points (do they still call them that?) for the rest of the week.  I'm sure I used them all yesterday and for all the extra comfort foods I ate today.

Gene sent me a great message this morning... perfectly timed!  And it expressed EXACTLY how I feel! 

Monday, February 4, 2013

Strength

I am filled with the life, strength and energy of God.

Our bodies respond to our thoughts and feelings. If I am feeling depressed or unhappy, my body feels it. If I am feeling stressed and hurried, my body becomes tense and tired. Conversely, my body responds just as readily to positive thoughts.

When I affirm with conviction, I am filled with the life, strength and energy of God, I stir up these divine qualities within me. The life and intelligence in my body respond, and I feel an upsurge of energy throughout my being. The healing life of God flows through me and I call it forth through my thoughts and affirmative prayers. As I do, my body as well as my mind and emotions are strengthened and uplifted.

He gives power to the faint, and strengthens the powerless.—Isaiah 40:29

FINDING INSPIRATION IN OTHERS' SUCCESSES

Okay, so my second weigh-in of the year didn't go so well, but it's not like it was a total shock or anything... I had NOT been behaving myself at all and was just hoping for the best... which needless to say I have NEVER been any good at!  I was up 2.6 lb.  But it is a new day, a new week, and hopefully a new attitude!  As everyone who has ever tried repeatedly to succeed at something, it's NOT about how many times you fall, it's about how many times you get back up again!

One of the things I read to stay motivated suggested that, just like when we want to know more about a disease we or a family member or friend are diagnosed with and we go on line and research the heck out of it, I need to do that for inspirational weight loss stories, especially the type that don't happen overnight.  Here is a perfect example I stumbled across this morning.  This young mom has lost over 300 lb on Weight Watchers and her story is definitely one for the books.  I LOVE this blog because she has chronicled her weight loss journey in words AND in pictures.  I hope and pray that one day in the not-too-distant future someone is actually reading the story of MY (successful) weight loss journey and finding inspiration!  Meanwhile if you want to be TRULY inspired, check out THIS blog:

http://julieisgoinggoinggone.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2013-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&updated-max=2014-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&max-results=1

FIRST (OFFICIAL) WEIGH-IN OF THE YEAR

1-5-13 - Me 'n Jerry in Nicole's backyard for 

Joey's 2nd birthday party

207.7 lb

Next picture will be taken at 197 lb and in 10 lb increments 
thereafter until I reach my goal of 127!
(Wish me luck - as you can tell from the weight tracker 
I haven't been below 200 since I started keeping track all those years ago!)

I always like to set my alarm for 15-20 minutes before I actually HAVE to get up so I can lay in bed and evaluate/anticipate my day ahead.  This morning I laid there contemplating the events of the last several months and muddling over what I need to do to make 2013 a successful year.  The key here is  WHAT I NEED TO DO... for way too long now I have been "weight-ing" for a miracle but it has gotten me nowhere.  Starting from this minute right now I am going to stop looking for a miracle that may or may not happen.  If it's to be it's up to me!  The Lord has given me the tools... why am I having such a difficult time opening the box, taking them out, and USING THEM?  Why do I find it so easy to keep sabotaging myself -- and letting others do the same.  I am NOT going to be the victim anymore!  The second part of the journey starts NOW.  Everything I think, do, say, (or eat) from now on is going to effect my weight loss attitude.  I have to make every moment and every movement count.  One bite at a time... one ounce at a time... one moment at a time, and one emotion at a time.

Anyway, we went to 9:00 mass at St. John Eudes today and then (thankfully) they were out of the "good" donuts in the hall.  I thought I was home-free... was already planning to go home, have something "on plan", and leave plenty of points for the annual Little Christmas bash at the Gergen's tonight.  Well you know what they say about the best laid plans... before we were even in the car Jerry said "Where do you wanna go for breakfast?  My treat..."  Oh boy, already my imagination was off and running... I KNEW my safest bet was my go-to English muffin and single scrambled egg but NNNOOOO! He started mentioning Country Deli and IHOP...  we drove through the IHOP parking lot but it was full.  Besides, I have NO business eating there -- since they started posting the calories and sodium counts in their menu, I realize how toxic all that stuff is!   So temptation and frugality got the best of me and I opted for a McDonald's breakfast -- OMG - that will be the LAST time I get that selection!  Next time I'll go with the oatmeal!  HUGE difference!  And you know what?  It wasn't even that good!  Definitely NOT worth that many points!  

RECOMMITMENT AND RESOLUTION WARNING!

With each new day comes another chance to recommit to this journey.  I can tell already that 2013 is going to bring some uncomfortable discussions and situations but with the Lord as my traveling companion I know that nothing will happen that He and I can't tackle together (okay, so it's 99% HIM and 1% me... but isn't this the YEAR OF FAITH?)  And as an added bonus I'm going to ask His Blessed Mother to join us as well!  It definitely couldn't hurt -- and after all she is known for her reputation of crushing the head of the serpent!  And Lord knows - there will be no shortage of serpents on this journey. 

Over the last few weeks I have discovered a new food -- okay, not exactly NEW... it's the pomegranate!  Some claim that it was actually the pomegranate that Eve tempted Adam with in the Garden of Eden.  I saw a video a couple of weeks ago that showed how easy they are to clean and after comparing the price of the arils in the store vs the price of the whole fruit, I decided to give the do-it-myself version a try.  Well I was NOT disappointed!  In only 5 minutes of disassembling the thing -- and less than $2 -- I had a whole container full of yumminess!  To my taste buds these little nuggets are as sweet as candy, and if that will help me "take a load off" once and for all (not to mention the other health benefits the pro's are claiming), then I am going to put them to the test!  They will make a great "go to food" each time I open the fridge and look for something "grab-able".  I'll keep you posted!

Also on this 3rd day of January I have done a lot of thinking about my 2013 resolutions... here is the list I have come up with:

1)   Be ON PROGRAM at least 90% of the time.  With the iphone apps WW has made this so much easier to do.  A big hurdle for me is planning my meals ahead of time -- especially when we eat out -- almost EVERYTHING is available on line now so there's really no excuse NOT to know the PP value of the things I am eating!

2)   Try for the recommended 10,000 steps a day on the pedometer -- (notice the key word = "try").  Even if I start at 1000 and increase by 100 steps a day I will be moving more than what I'm doing now!

3)   List (and SELL) something on ebay or Craig's List every week.

4)   Work in picture area at least 5 minutes each day. 

5)   Then there's the one that a lot of people struggle with:  FLOSS regularly!  It may seem like a little thing but there is evidence that a lot of creepy/crappy germs enter our bodies via our mouths (even adding to things like heart disease and Alzheimer's -- who knew?)!  Flossing and improved oral hygiene makes it a lot harder for them to be welcomed into the bloodstream if they're headed off at the pass! 

Okay, that's it for me... I think that at the end of the day/week these are the main ones that will make me feel like I have accomplished something great - even though they seem like small things.

Lord, thank you for being my constant companion as I travel life's highway!

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND WELCOME 2013!

 

 

Well in spite of everything going on in the world right now I am going to try to stay optimistic.  I am turning everything over to the Lord and am going to let HIM worry about it for me. 

 

I am going into the new year with renewed commitment to this ever present battle of the bulge.  But there are just so many other things to occupy my life and my concentration. 

 

For the last several years I have been hoping and praying for a miracle including two good incomes and perhaps a job with GREAT medical benefits (this year my payroll deduction for Jerry and I to have Kaiser went just north of $1300 a month ~ and we STILL have our co-pays on top of that!).  I don't wanna get old but I hope we make it to the age where we can go on Medicare!

 

We are going to try, with renewed commitment, to get that darn website up and running and generating an income.  I am going to have to rely on Jerry to get this done since I am so very busy with everything else, and hope to be returning to school next week for medical billing/coding/insurance.

 

And then there's the whole situation with Mom.   She is so lonely over there at the house.  She lived there with Dad for over 25 years and has seen many, many changes.  This past year was the hardest on her, having watched Dad battle brain cancer and pass away on the 23rd of December, 2011.  We are trying to encourage her to go to Emeritus - a beautiful residential facility where seniors can go to live under the same roof -- each with their own apartment, furniture, and privacy, but enough companionship and activities to keep them as busy as they choose to be.  And a cheerful dining room that serves residents 3 great meals a day as well as readily available snacks.  Mom is NOT used to making any type of major decisions on her own and we can all tell she really doesn't feel comfortable doing it.  She resents people telling her what to do but desperately wants someone to make the decision for her.  Can you say "rock and a hard place"? 

 

Okay, enough stress talk for one day!  Plenty more where that came from... until tomorrow then...

 

Dear Lord - Please help mom realize how much we all love her

and only want the best for her!